Well....seeing how everyone is in the traveling spirit these days, I thought I would jot some quick notes about my LUXURIOUS travels throughout God's country....many of you might not know, but I am quickly becoming an expert in the ways of blue collar, militant fundamentalist sights and places of residence....I know my travels don't warrant the ooooos and ahhhhhs that Jeni ,Tyler, Stan, Gina, James, Dallas, and many others experience....however...some of these still have some merit.
Last month I was up in western Montana....again....and I passed through the Flat Head Lake Indian reservation...As I stopped by the local gun and liquor store for some gas and snacks, I couldn't help noticing the locals natives( no pun intended) browsing the mouthwash area....of course, Johnny Mad Weasel quickly picked up the yellow Listerine and shouted, " Hey, my favorite color!" Montana sure has its perks and rewards...especially mouthwashes. If you like to get a buzz off mouthwash, shoot guns and fireworks....Montana is for you.
I made my way southward, down to the heart of hell on earth.....Phoenix, Arizona....where temperatures soared into the triple digits.....113 to be precise. I have the distinct honor of visiting the local pain clinics to see the parade of human troglodytes cram their way to relish the sweet savor of oxycontin, lortab, and other delicious pain and reality dimmers....One particular swarthy man entered with a tee shirt that said..."Guns don't kill people....I do". It was his toothless scowl that scared me...and his lack of attention to personal hygiene.
Perhaps the best attraction lately is Round up Days in Lehi, UT....that's when all the closet rednecks and real rednecks join as one to celebrate the cowboy life. We do this best by having a parade and watching the local high school bands endure sweltering heat while blowing muscial instruments, and the cops and firemen have a hoe down and throw old candy on the road, while all the little children swoop down upon it like vultures to a wildebeast....if only we could get the usual garbage collectors to be as diligent...hmm.....
When I return home, I rejoice to see my wife and children, and as I go outside to watch my "fench-loving" neighbor-(whom I despise)...methodically move all his belongings into a moving truck and away from my sight....I am reminded again how truly great life is, and how often God is mindful of me..
Hope everyone is well....